Vital Connections: Rediscovering the Art of Deep Belonging

WJ de Kock

Education Consultant to Partner in Ministry

Professor of Practical Theology at Palmer Theological Seminary

 This is part six of a seven part series titled “Building a Culture of Collective Confidence”.

If Jesus had walked the earth today, He might have had an Instagram account, but he would not have built His community through likes and DMs. Jesus understood the irreplaceable value of breaking bread together, of looking into someone's eyes as He spoke words of life. In this digital age, let's explore how we can foster a church community as tight-knit as the disciples' inner circle without relying exclusively on virtual connections.

The Sacred Art of Social Bonding

When we talk about bonding in church, we're not referring to an investment strategy. These social bonds are like spiritual superglue, holding our faith communities together through thick and thin, Sunday services and potluck disasters alike.

Research shows that face-to-face interactions are crucial for building strong communities. As one study points out, "Communication is better face to face". The apostle Paul himself strongly preferred in-person meetings over letter writing, stating, "I hope to come to you and talk face to face so that our joy may be complete" (2 John 12). This underscores the importance of physical presence in nurturing relationships within our congregations.

The Three Pillars of Church Community

Research by Leonard and Bellamy revealed three key factors in building social capital in churches. Let's dive deeper into these elements:

1.        Collective Agency: This is your congregation's superpower - the ability to act together like a well-oiled machine (or a divinely inspired flash mob). It's about having a shared vision that's clearer than the parting of the Red Sea. Collective agency involves empowering members to contribute towards the church's mission, fostering a sense of ownership and purpose.

2.        Personal Connections: Because, let's face it, "Love thy neighbour" is a lot easier when you know their name. These are the relationships that go beyond just nodding politely during the passing of the peace. Personal connections are built through meaningful interactions, shared experiences, and mutual support.

3.        Congregational Unity: This is all about keeping your flock together without resorting to shepherd's crook tactics. It's promoting togetherness and avoiding divisions faster than you can say "denominational split." Unity is achieved through addressing conflicts constructively, promoting inclusivity, and creating a supportive environment.

In our hyper-connected yet often isolated world, the church has a unique opportunity to rediscover and cultivate the lost art of creating communities of deep belonging. This isn't just about attending services or participating in online forums - it's about forging bonds that reflect the diverse, vibrant body of Christ.

The Irreplaceable Magic of Face-to-Face Fellowship

In our digital age, where emojis often substitute for emotions and like to stand in for love, there's a timeless truth we will do well not to forget: anything quite compares to the power of face-to-face interaction.

The Apostle John knew this when he penned his desire to skip the ancient equivalent of email and meet in person, "so that our joy may be complete" (2 John 1:12). Fast forward two millennia, and his words still ring true. Imagine the aroma of shared meals wafting through your church, the laughter echoing as hands work together on service projects or the intimate whispers of prayer in small groups.

These aren't just activities; they're the lifeblood of Christian community. In a world starved for genuine connection, let's rediscover the irreplaceable magic of breaking bread, serving shoulder-to-shoulder, and praying heart-to-heart. After all, pixelated smiles can't hold a candle to the warmth of real ones.

Embracing Diversity as Strength

God's creation is a masterpiece of variety, and our churches should reflect this heavenly kaleidoscope. Diversity isn't just a trendy catchphrase; it's a biblical blueprint for strength.

Imagine your congregation as a living, breathing stained-glass window, where each unique piece is vital to the overall beauty. Celebrate diversity among your people and ensure that your leadership team reflects the community it serves. Picture the exchange of wisdom as older mentors guide younger individuals, and tech-savvy youth contribute their expertise in technology, social media, and other modern tools for the benefit of the entire congregation. This is the body of Christ in action - diverse, dynamic, and unified in our differences

Fostering Genuine Relationships

In a world where connections often run as deep as a puddle, the church stands poised to offer an oasis of authenticity. Imagine a place where relationships aren't just skin-deep but soul-deep, rooted in the rich soil of Christ's love. As Thom and Joani Schultz wisely quip, "Faith is not a subject. Faith is a relationship." Picture a sanctuary where vulnerability isn't just allowed, it's celebrated. Where sharing struggles is as natural as sharing bread. Envision prayer partnerships that turn casual acquaintances into spiritual siblings, their bond forged in the crucible of shared petitions and praises. And let's not forget the art of holy disagreement - equipping our flock to navigate conflicts with the grace of a dove and the wisdom of a serpent. This is the church as it was meant to be: a tapestry of genuine connections, woven together by the Master's hand.

Reorienting Schedules for Community

Building a deep community requires intentionality and often a reordering of priorities. As Robert Putnam's research shows, "church friends seem super-charged" in their ability to foster well-being and selfless behaviour. To cultivate these powerful connections, churches can designate specific evenings for family gatherings, encouraging members to set aside time for rest and community. Imagine a church where community nights become a staple, transforming the sanctuary into a vibrant hub of fellowship and laughter. Sabbath practices can be encouraged, where members intentionally pause their hectic lives to rest and connect deeply with one another. Service rotations can be implemented, involving everyone in the work of the church and fostering a sense of ownership and belonging. By prioritising these practices, churches can create environments where genuine relationships flourish, reflecting the love and unity that Christ envisioned for His followers.

So, What does all of this mean?

In rediscovering the art of creating communities of deep belonging, we're not just building a church - we're embodying the very nature of Christ. As we break bread together, embrace our diversity, foster genuine relationships, and reorient our lives around the community, we create a powerful witness to a world hungry for authentic connection.

Consider

Let's challenge ourselves to move beyond the superficial to create spaces where every person is known, loved, and belongs. In doing so, we'll enrich our faith journeys and offer a compelling picture of the Kingdom of God to a watching world.

• Registering for the full course: "Creating a Culture of Collective Confidence"

• Contact partners in Ministry to learn more about our coaching, leadership development, and consulting services.   

For more information and to get started, visit our website or reach out to us directly. Let’s create a culture of collective confidence that transforms lives and glorifies God.

Sources: Rosemary Leonard and John Bellamy. (2015). Dimensions of Bonding Social Capital in Christian Congregations Across Australia. ISTR, 26:1046–1065.